156 days, 155 to go...

Anyone ever noticed that the initials of Valentine's Day spell VD? I think that's a hint.

It seems like everyone and their mother is paired up at the minute - and it makes it particularly nauseating because it's Valentine's Day today.

Not that I'm against Valentine's Day - who am I kidding of course I'm against Valentine's Day. But it's not because I'm a "bitter single" I just don't get the point.

If you care about someone then you shouldn't need a cheesy Hallmark holiday to tell someone how you feel. To be fair the only people who actually like February 14 are Cadbury's and the card companies.

Bored by relentless radio DJs playing soppy tunes and clips from Rom Coms I decided to do some research into the cause of my anger today and find out exactly who this St Valentine guy actually was - and it's not that romantic.

It's weird, all these crazy people celebrate this day and no one really knows who he was.

There were many conflicting reports - one says he was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. Emperor Claudius II outlawed marriage for young men because he thought single men made better soldiers, so being a rebel Valentine performed marriages for young lovers in secret. When he was caught Claudius killed him.

It's actually more heroic than romantic, don't you think?

Another story says he actually sent the first Valentine's card to himself! Seriously, come on.
Well apparently he was in prison at the time and in love with the jailer's daughter, of course he was. He wrote her a card, signed From Your Valentine......resisting the urge to vomit.....

Maybe I'm just too jaded but these stories end in tragedy and death, like VD is this a hint? For me and my quest?

Maybe I'm not meant to find a Plus 1 because it'll send shock waves to the Earth's core, leaving the planet facing certain destruction....OK I've been watching too much Heroes and Smallville.
But on the Plus 1 front there's more meddling.

I'm not adverse to kind advice but when I'm told certain factions are planning a series of blind dates to help me along I am allowed to descend into paranoia and spine-tingling fear.

Yes Diamond is hatching a plan with her pal I.T. God to fix me up on a date with a guy she described as a "geek" - that's a direct quote.

When I pried further she said he really liked American TV (I'm a HUGE American TV fan), but that doesn't reek of geek. She then replied that he is definitely within the realm of Geekdom.

But she was quick to add that he has in fact had a girlfriend - I think Diamond thought she had conjured an image from Revenge of the Nerds.

So the quips and innuendo continue until this poor guy is sprung on me. To be honest it's not a bad idea but I think there's safety in numbers - hint to Diamond - a group outing might be a little better than pretending to meet me in town not showing up but sending Mr Mystery Geek Man instead.

And I think a questionnaire would be helpful too. I'll send you my questions.

For now I'm still flying solo, Potentials are few and far between...maybe I should get another GBFF back-up...safety in numbers right?

So here's the state of play...

POTENTIAL PLUS 1'S - 4

GAY BACK-UPS - 2

WISH LIST POTENTIALS - Wentworth Miller (he'll always be a potential to me), talking of geeks, hot geek Matthew Gray Gubler aka Dr Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds, and of course the lovely Greg Sanders from CSI played by Eric Szmanda

STUPID SUGGESTIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME - 10

NUMBER OF EXCUSES FOR NO PLUS 1'S - 3

Excuse number 1 - I'm on a blind date but I don't know which guest is him!

Excuse number 2 - He's been called to NASA to help with one of the rockets. What can you do? When Houston has a problem, you gotta go.

Excuse number 3 - He had to go after the ceremony. He's a genius and has just had a major scientific breakthrough that's going to change the world as we know it. So no he's not here but I've saved him some cake.

NUMBER OF RANTS AND/OR PANIC ATTACKS - 8 including this blog!

Get the latest update on the blind date situation next week....

Love Nicole x

PS I heard a really great quote this week. It's from my friend who lives in Canada, let's call her Charlotte (she reminds me of Charlotte York from Sex and the City because she's always so positive no matter what some stupid bloke has done, she's the ying to my yang). She told me - "When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'" (Rita Rudner).
Not so positive today Charlotte :)

DAY 179...178 DAYS TO GO...

It seems that everyone wants to help me in my quest to find a Plus 1 for Ross and Rachel's wedding - some are being a little too helpful....

My married friend, let's call her Mrs Lumberjack, was watching a news report or something about busy people dating online and automatically thought of me - shocker.

Apparently this website offers professional people the opportunity to meet singles they are compatible with online and you can meet them when your schedule permits.

It's supposed to be helpful for us busy singles who don't have the time to go out and actually meet new people. And I have to admit in a way it would make it easier to meet potential Plus 1's but I just can't bring myself to join a dating service.

I am still of the mindset that once you enter the world of online dating you can no longer function in society without a keyboard and a mouse.

Can you imagine after chatting online and building up the BIG FACE TO FACE DATE and having no chemistry whatsoever? Awkward much.

Plus there's the whole potential serial killer element to it all - I mean how much can you really tell about someone over email or a few messenger chats?

Take me for example I don't even use my real name in this blog (most of my friends know who I am, well that's perhaps because I emailed the link to everyone in my address book!)
You get the point.

Mrs Lumberjack isn't the only one who wants to give me hints about dating.

Lana Lang sent me a wonderful link to a website designated to getting singles out there in a self-help, life manual kind of way.

Myreah Moore, a dating expert and author of Date Like A Man, offers a handy guide to find The One.

Being a jaded cynic I thought Lana has to be playing with me on this one and after 30 seconds I had guessed right.

The opening paragraph read: "Before you can find the man of your dreams, you've got to know the type of guy who will make you happy. Take this quiz to determine what qualities you need in an ideal husband and start your quest to finding Mr. Right!"

An ideal husband - are you kidding! Who said anything about marriage all I want is a Plus 1.
Being a good sport I took the quiz and almost vomited a few times.

One of the questions was: You're on a dinner date. When the waiter comes to take your order, you hope the guy you're with....

One of the options made me gag: Your date orders for you, from appetiser through dessert -- you get a kick out of old-fashioned, man-in-command behaviour. Seriously are there women out there who like this??

Note to potentials - NEVER order for me, I think therefore I am, I am quite capable of deciding what I want to eat at any given time thank you very much. Rant over.

Honestly I was scared what they were going to ask me next.

One option asked if my perfect goodnight kiss was a peck gingerly on the cheek and a squeeze of the hand - come on that's not a goodnight kiss, that's a "I don't fancy you enough to stick my tongue down your throat" kiss. No one wants that.

I opted for a kiss followed by a high five...I like to laugh!

After answering all the questions the quiz deemed me destined for The Sensitive Guy, well 40 per cent of my answers indicated this.

According to Ms Moore's quiz my ideal man has a serious case of the feelings whether he wears them on his sleeve or not. And he would as easily listen to ballads as he would stage a protest against cruelty to animals. I do dig protesters.

Coming a close second at 30 per cent is The Fun-Loving Fellow - the most personable guy in the room.

He's a good laugh and can hold his own in any situation but his flirting is his flaw.

As long as he doesn't flirt with the bride he can be my Plus 1 any day!

So now that I know that my soul mate is either Mr Sensitive Guy or The Fun-Loving Fellow, I am sorted, my life makes sense once again, I feel almost complete (insert sarcasm where appropriate).

So here's the state of play...

POTENTIAL PLUS 1'S - billions if you count the potentials on the web
GAY BACK-UPS - 1
WISH LIST POTENTIALS - Wentworth Miller (I watched Prison Break last night and he is so hot, swoon), since watching WM try to escape from prison I've gone of TV cops this week so I'm going with George Clooney (like Carrie Bradshaw said he's like a Chanel suit he'll always be in style)
STUPID SUGGESTIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME - 7
NUMBER OF EXCUSES FOR NO PLUS 1'S - 3

Excuse number 1 - He was imprisoned in Panama as part of a conspiracy against him and his brother. He's currently breaking out so he might make it for dessert.

Excuse number 2 - He's stuck in a conference in Hong Kong. His boss sent him to head up an important meeting for his high flying job. He promised to bring me back a present to make up for missing the wedding.

Excuse number 3 - I asked him not to come because he's so damn gorgeous I didn't want the other male guests at the wedding to get jealous and I can't be bothered with all the ladies swooning over him, it's just too much hassle.

NUMBER OF RANTS AND/OR PANIC ATTACKS - 6 including this blog!

Catch up with my predicament next week....

Love Nicole x

PS Hope that clears things up Lusty Busty (see comment) :)